Mojave? Mo' Problems

Thud-thud-thud.

"They're coming to get you," spat the officer,
hackles raised, teeth bared.
Pig in wolf's clothing.
"To cut you up. Find out who gave you that power!"

Bored.
Bored.
Bored....

I ignore him, turning to Ms. Cense,
"Let's go. Please. We can do anything. Literally."

Ms. Cense doesn't even lift her head,
too busy patting the fainter's
cheeks.

Thud-thud-thud.
The door splinters.

Crack \\
           // s

"I want to..."
 I want to take Ms.Cense away, I want her to want me. But what fun is that if I twist her wrist?
No fun. She might as well be dead.
"escape."

I let the power rip me from that elementary school classroom, still thrumming from meeting Ms.Cense.
I had no idea why my reaction to her was so strong.
Why I was so desperate to want her to want me.

Want me to want you... 
Wasn't that a song or something?

I walked through a Costco, flipped my card at the sentry.
Mayo was cheap.
A treadmill was 30% off, a man excitedly talked his wife into buying it.
I grabbed three bottles of Tums, extra large, and a bag of clementines.

It was a hassle to walk into the parking lot.
I eyed a little girl who bounced by.
I'm not jealous of her.

But I do wonder.

 Now the officer is grinning shark sharp (shah-shah-shah).
He imagines he smells blood.

Or weakness.

Or at the very least his confidence is bolstered by the
rest of the squealing herd that parks outside the kindergarten.

There's no escape.
In their eyes.
Ms.Cense, on the other hand, tenses.

She's intelligent. She knows,
that if I can command the sun--
If I can command children with
such arrogance then...

the squealing herd might as well be
actual farm animals.

For all the good they'll do.

Heh-heh.
Maybe I'll make pigs fly today!

"Please don't hurt them."

"You're not worried about yourself?"

Ms.Cense musters a dark smile.
"You're not subtle. You've been staring like a
prepubescent boy."

Ouch!
I try to salvage my pride.
"Where did you go to school?"

"Here."
She's magnanimous.

"No. I mean college or university?"

She names the local community college and local university.
"I went here for elementary school. And my middle school is
two miles south of here."

"You never left."

I'm not sure if Ms.Cense is bitter,
or if it's fatalism,
or peace.

"I never left. There's really no reason. Never traveled either."

"I can give you money for travel."

Ms.Cense laughs, bright and too loud.
She has an ugly braying laugh,
it must be popular with the kids.

It's not popular with the police officer. 

"Stop this!" Ms. Cense ordered, she gripped the officer's arm.

Absolute darkness is like swimming out in open water.

There's nothing holding you,

to safety.

This world was built to be seen,
and now we didn't have even that.

"I'm giving you to the count of three!"

"I made your gun go away...
"I want everyone to take a seat."

Most of the parents were already seated
in the tiny plastic chairs.
Made for five year olds but
that never stopped adults from crouching on the thin plastic.
To pretend or remember that they too, once had to worry
about learning colors and the spaces between words.

"Ms.Cense."
I'm trying to be gentle.

"What."

"You have a lovely classroom."

"Why are you doing this?"

The officer speaks harshly,
"It's not even her. It must be someone else."

How stupid.

"I want the sun to turn back on."

We're blinded by it, the officer jamming his regulation sunglasses over his nose.

They look silly, sitting on the train track rug.

I think the officerman and Ms.Cense had been talking quietly,
but a strange buzzing in my ears...

I couldn't make it out.

The orders were overlapping,

I turn away, wary of my weaknesses being discovered,
and mutter the locks closed again.

A tiger stalks their prey,
a lithe deer.

And is distracted by a human
stumbling along the deer path.

That's what Ms. Cense was.

I was captivated,
I was the prey,
the human that stumbles
into the jaws of fate.

Cool.

"I don't recognize you."

Her smile is warm, confused because the school is small.
She should know me.

"I'm here to show everyone what I can do."

The words are rushed. Like I can't wait to spill my secrets.

Ms.Cense's eyebrows crease, crows feet showing
how much she enjoys life.

Oh gosh. Oh gosh.

"And you're here to meet with..."

"You."

"Me..."

It's impossible not to be embarrassed. So I look over to the police officer.

"He's a murderer." 

Ms.Cense's lips thin in displeasure. "I have to ask you to leave--"

"I want--"

I pause and smile slowly.

"I want the doors to lock."

Ms.Cense now looks furious.

My heart swoons. Swoons!
Like some Bronte novel,
warmth travels up my toes.

None of them understand their predicament,
not yet.

Ms.Cense tries to yank the door to her classroom open,
pulls and tugs and wrestles with the doorknob
as if that small metal piece were an alligator.

"It won't open."

Ms.Cense now looks panicked, she's sweating.

She runs to the police officer.

"I want his gun to disappear."

The officer looks at me, squiiiints, like he's looking for
a reason to snuff me out then and there.

Touches his hip, eyes widen.

Heh heh heh.

A villainous laugh is good for the soul now and then.

I allowed the sun to be for months, 
or maybe years.

I remained in DC,
playing pretend.

I acquired a romantic partner,
I befriended my coworkers,
I played at being a car salesperson.

My customers got weird deals on cars,
a single mother of two got a brand new four-door for a hundred a month,
no interest. A surgeon was paying seven thousand for a six year old Geo.

My boss was furious but I didn't want to be fired. So I wasn't.
It was so fun to mess with things,
for no reason other than I could.

My life was structured and I could see how it would be attractive,
to live with the tides.

In.
Out.

In.
Out.

Slowly rubbing down the rough edges into smooth polish,
to age and wither away.
At peace with myself and my place.